


what if?

by hotfruits



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexuality, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Sexual Content, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 03:03:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6735307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotfruits/pseuds/hotfruits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, of course you don’t want to get your heart broken,” Bambam snorts, rolling his eyes. “But really, which is worse? A broken heart that’ll eventually heal, or a what if that you’ll never know the answer to?”</p><p>Yugyeom takes a chance on love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what if?

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on twitter @ultbbam :)  
> I post lotsa things on hotfruits.tumblr.com
> 
> * NOTE * 
> 
> Erik Choi = Choi Youngjae

“Itch…lie–”

Erik begins to laugh, eyes crinkling as he shakes his head. “Nein, it’s _ish leebuh,_ Yugyeom, _ish leebuh dish_ ,” he says slowly, breaking down the foreign words phonetically.

Yugyeom tries again, doing his best to mimic Erik’s pronunciation. “Ich…liebe…dich?”

He smiles when Erik cheers, congratulating him on finally getting the words right. “What does that mean?” he asks, curious about the new phrase Erik is teaching him.

He only gets a mischievous smile in response, though. “I’ll tell you later,” he promises, just before their FaceTime session goes blurry for a second. Yugyeom begins to pout and hopes they aren’t about to lose their connection, but the blurriness quickly fades away.

“Say it again?” Erik asks, and Yugyeom obliges, rolling his eyes.  
  
  
  


Yugyeom meets Erik Choi on a rainy day, standing just outside the school’s entrance. “You lost, man?” he asks, eyeing his rumbled uniform and honey-colored hair, both of which are plastered to the guy’s skin. “Hey, dude,” he tries again, moving to stand beside him and shaking the guy’s damp shoulder with his free hand, his other hand holding his umbrella.

The guy jumps and mutters something – was that German? – under his breath. “Oh, sorry!” he apologizes, speaking in accented Korean. “I think I’m still on German time,” he explains, and as if he needs to prove his point, lets out a long, loud, yawn. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes once more and begins to walk, Yugyeom following closely beside him.

“Are you the exchange student everyone has been talking about?” he asks, although by people, he means Bambam, the other foreign exchange student and his only friend – besides Yerin and Jimin. “From Germany, right?”

The guy nods and grabs the front door of the school, allowing Yugyeom to enter first. He shakes out his umbrella and closes it, leaving a few splattered raindrops on the floor. “My name is Erik, by the way,” the guy – Erik – introduces himself, holding out a hand for Yugyeom to shake.

Yugyeom takes it and gives it a squeeze. “Yugyeom,” he says, smiling as he adds, “It’s nice to meet you, Erik.”

“You too,” Erik grins just as the bell rings, and they’re forced to go their separate ways.  
  
  
  


The reason Yugyeom only had one friend – besides Yerin and Jimin, but he grew up with them, so it hardly counts – was because, well…there weren’t many kids at their school with bleached hair, pierced ears, and who regularly participated in underground dance battles; but just because he looked like a punk, doesn’t mean he was one.

Bambam understands that. He knows that underneath the leather jackets and ever-changing hairstyles, Yugyeom is a big softie who avoids conflicts and cries over his favorite dramas. He also knows that Yugyeom is typically very shy, so when he tells Bambam about his encounter with Erik that morning, the other looks at him with shocked eyes, his mouth hanging open.

“What?” Yugyeom asks, pouting at his overly dramatic friend. “I’m not a complete introvert, Bambam. I can socialize with other human beings!”

Bambam snickers in response, the act dropping. “I know that,” he says, clicking his tongue and raising a brow at Yugyeom. “I’m just surprised, is all…or maybe not,” he pauses, smirking as he asks, “Do you have a thing for foreigners, Yugyeommie?”

Yugyeom’s pouts turn into a glare as he whacks Bambam on the shoulder, feeling only mildly guilty when Bambam winces, hissing under his breath. “It wasn’t like that, you idiot, and besides,” he moves his hand to Bambam’s shoulder once more, this time to rub at the sore spot with gentle fingers, “He’s a senior. I doubt I’ll see him around that much.”  
  
  
  


Of course, he ends up seeing Erik the next day…and the next, and the next, until he’s literally seeing the guy every day, exchanging small waves and smiles as they hurry past each other. He even sees him outside of school a few times, always catching sight of his honey-colored hair or hearing that unique, chortling laugh. He always pauses, wondering if he should go over and say hi, but ultimately shakes off the urge in the end.

He walks away, ignoring the feeling of someone’s eyes watching him.

The next time he talks with Erik, interestingly enough, is after a dance competition. He’s up against Def Soul, reigning champion and bboy extraordinaire, when he sees Erik in the audience. It makes him falter, for only a second, but he quickly regains his composure and finishes strong.

“Yugyeom!” Erik runs over to him as he steps off the stage, eyes crinkling from the force of his smile. “Yugyeom, that was, oh my god,” he gushes, his hands gesturing wildly as he searches for the right words. His hands end up settling on Yugyeom’s shoulders, shaking him lightly, “That was amazing! Where did you learn to dance like that?”

“Ummm,” Yugyeom stutters, feeling awkward under Erik’s grasp and intense gaze. “Mostly self-taught, I guess…”

Erik continues to praise him, practically jumping up and down as he goes on and on. Yugyeom only half-listens, suddenly more interested in the way Erik’s bangs fall neatly into his eyes, which are outlined in smudged eyeliner, making the brown orbs appear bigger and brighter. His gaze lingers on Erik’s eyes for a moment, before traveling down his nose and onto his lips, at which point he seems to wake himself up and clears his throat, his eyes shooting back up to Erik’s – who is looking at him curiously.

“You okay?” Erik asks, and Yugyeom nods, passing it off as tiredness.

“Ah, okay! Well, I’ll see you around and seriously,” he gives Yugyeom’s shoulders one last squeeze, “You were amazing!”

Yugyeom watches him walk away, feeling very un-tired and more like he wants to call Erik back over and stare into his eyes some more. “Fuck,” he curses, out loud, which surprises Bambam, who had just bounced over to him and latched himself onto Yugyeom’s side.

“What’s up?” he asks, staring up at Yugyeom in concern.

“Do you think Erik is pretty?” Yugyeom asks, unsure of how to answer Bambam’s question quite yet.

“He’s…aesthetically pleasing, sure,” Bambam responds, and Yugyeom can hear the confusion in his voice. “But, you know, I definitely prefer a more,” he pauses and Yugyeom finally looks down, just in time to see Bambam holding his hands in front of his chest, mimicking a woman’s breasts, “Kind of look. Do you think he’s pretty?”

Yugyeom licks his bottom lip. “I think I do, yeah.”  
  
  
  


Yugyeom figured out he was bisexual a year ago, when Mark Tuan showed up from California – maybe he does have a thing for foreigners, shit. He never spoke more than a few words to Mark, but he found himself so painfully attracted to the other, dreaming about his sun-kissed skin and shaggy, dark hair.

After three consecutive mornings of waking up hard and leaking through his boxers, Yugyeom decided he wasn’t as straight as he had previously assumed and shuffled his way into the shower, quickly taking care of the issue between his thighs; he didn’t want to be late for school...again.  
  
  
  


Apparently, history actually does have a way of repeating itself.

“Why does god hate me?” he asks himself, staring down at his erection, while the image of Erik’s smudged eyeliner and pretty mouth cling to his mind. He continues to stare for another moment, in hopes that maybe it’ll just disappear on its own. He isn’t that lucky, though, and ends up rolling out of bed with a groan, shuffling towards the shower and locking the door behind him.

At least it’s the weekend.  
  
  
  


Bambam chokes on his lunch when Yugyeom informs him of his current predicament. “Oh my god,” he coughs, his voice scratchy and hoarse, “Warn a guy before you tell him about your weekend boners, shit!”

Yugyeom rubs Bambam’s back with one hand and offers him his water bottle with the other, already uncapped. Bambam snatches it from him and chugs down several mouthfuls, before setting it down with a satisfied sigh. He then looks back at Yugyeom, a teasing smile on his face. “You are so sprung for Erik,” he says, his voice back to its normal pitch.

“Shut up,” Yugyeom rolls his eyes, but he can’t deny the truth in Bambam’s statement; he is _so_ sprung for Erik. It doesn’t matter, though, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to act on these feelings. Erik is going to leave at the end of the school year, and why would he want to put himself through that heartache?

“Because,” Bambam says, after Yugyeom finishes relaying his concerns to him, “It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.”

Yugyeom doesn’t miss the way Bambam’s eyes flit over to Jimin – just for a second – before bouncing back to him. “I don’t want to get my heart broken,” he mutters, suddenly feeling far too young for these kind of problems. “And I know I will. Sure, it’s just a crush now, but…” he trails off, wondering if Bambam could tell he was about to say _“but it happened to you.”_

Bambam tenses up, just for a second, before shrugging it off. “Well, of course you don’t want to get your heart broken,” he snorts, rolling his eyes. “But really, which is worse? A broken heart that’ll eventually heal, or a what if that you’ll never know the answer to?”

A slight chuckle leaves Yugyeom’s lips.

“Bambam, we’re just kids.”

“That doesn’t mean our choices are any less important, Yugyeommie.”

  
  


Bambam’s voice begins to haunt his thoughts, bringing up the question _what if?_ every time he sees Erik over the next few weeks. _What if this could be something special, Yugyeommie? What if you miss your chance? What if –_

“Hey, is this spot taken?”

Yugyeom groans inwardly, but smiles and shakes his head at Erik, gesturing for the other to join him. Erik nods his thanks and plops down beside him, their thighs pressed together on the narrow bench. “I’ve never seen you at this stop before,” he comments, fully aware that Erik takes a different bus home.

Erik hums in agreement. “I’m going over to my exchange brother’s – he’s the son of the family I’m staying with,” Erik clarifies, after seeing Yugyeom’s confused expression, “apartment, since he and his friends are throwing a party.”

“Oh, cool.”

“You wanna go with me?”

_What if you said yes?_

“Your brother wouldn’t mind?”

Erik laughs, shaking his head. “No, Jaebum is pretty chill.”

_What if you told him how you felt, tonight?_

“Um…well…”

_What if he rejects you?_

“Okay, sure,” he says, cringing at how flat his voice sounds. “I mean, yeah! Sounds like fun!” he tries again, feigning excitement, despite the nervousness creeping along his veins. Erik lets out a whoop and claps him on the back, obviously pleased with Yugyeom’s choice.

_What if…what if he accepts you?_

Yugyeom tells himself to shut up, and mentally prepares himself for what may or may not happen tonight.  
  
  
  


“Your brother is Def Soul?” is the first thing Yugyeom notices after they slip into the crowded apartment, which is already buzzing with chatter and drunk laughter. The second thing he notices is the stereo, which is turned down low, but he can still feel the bass echoing through the air, thrumming along his bones; it makes him want to dance, but not here, or at least, not yet. “I can’t believe I’m in Def Soul’s apartment, holy shit.”

“Jaebum is an amazing dancer, but trust me,” Erik snickers and plucks one of the picture frames off the wall, which shows a young Jaebum in a silly Halloween costume, his arm around another boy’s shoulders. “He’s a total weirdo. C’mon,” he hangs the picture back up and gestures for Yugyeom to follow him, “Let’s get something to drink.”

They make their way into the kitchen and Yugyeom’s eyes widen at the amount of liquor lined up on the counter; it’s not that he’s never drank before – one time, he and Bambam snuck a couple of beers out of his exchange family’s fridge – but he’s never seen an array quite like this before. “Is that…glittery vodka?” he points to the small bottle, which Erik immediately grabs, along with some sprite.

He watches as Erik mixes their drinks together, before handing him one of the plastic cups. While Erik begins sipping at this drink, Yugyeom takes a moment to watch his, enjoying the way the glitter shimmers and swirls throughout the drink; it’s like a mini-galaxy, in his hands. “Bambam would love this,” he says, taking a careful sip of his drink and finding himself surprised at how good it tastes.

Erik seems to bristle at the mention of Bambam, but before Yugyeom can comment on it, he’s already back to his smiling self. “Don’t drink that too fast!” he says, already pouring more into his own cup. “This stuff will get you drunk fast, if you’re not used to it.”

Yugyeom laughs and brushes off Erik’s warning, refilling his own cup a few moments later.  
  
  
  


He stops after two and a half cups, just enough to calm his racing nerves, but still feel control of his mind and body. Erik seems to be in a similar place as him, smiling contently as they make idle chat; or, more specifically, while Erik speaks and Yugyeom listens, letting the sweet timbre of Erik’s voice capture most of his attention, while the rest of it is spent memorizing the way Erik’s eyes crinkle when he laughs, adorable and beautiful at the same time.

“Hey, Yugyeom,” Erik’s voice is soft when he suddenly changes topics, leaning forward and into Yugyeom’s space. The air begins to feel hotter, and Yugyeom’s breath hitches when Erik’s hand settles on his thigh. “Thanks for coming with me. I would’ve been so bored without you.”

He doubts that’s true, if given the way several people have tried to engage Erik in conversation all night, but he appreciates the sentiment nonetheless. “Thanks for inviting me…to be honest, I was kind of nervous,” he admits, blushing as he takes the plunge, “I…I like being with you, Erik.”

“I like being with you, too.”

“No, I mean,” he clears his throat, getting ready to explain to Erik just how much he likes being with him and how much he wants to keep being with him; his message is cut short, though, when Erik closes the distance between them, conveying his own message against Yugyeom’s lips.

_“I feel the same way.”_  
  
  
  


When he was sixteen, Yugyeom had asked Kim Dahyun – a friend of Yerin’s – out on a date. They went to the movies and held hands in the back row, and when it came time to walk her home, they shared a small kiss in front of her family’s apartment door. Their relationship didn’t last long, but what they had was simple and sweet, innocent and uncomplicated.

His relationship with Erik is the complete opposite.

They move fast, _too fast,_ according to Bambam, who eyes every new hickey, every new scratch mark, with concern. “Our time is limited,” Yugyeom cries quietly into the phone one night, long after Erik kissed him goodnight and promised to see him at school the next day. “I just…” _I feel the clock counting down, each second ticking away until Erik has to leave,_ “Want to enjoy as much of him as I can, you know?”

He does, and Yugyeom is grateful when Bambam drops the subject, opting instead to spend the next half hour making him giggle, until his anxiety finally eases up and he’s ready to fall asleep. “How am I going to survive next year without you?” he can’t help but ask, despite the fact that his eyes are beginning to droop shut.

“Flights to Bangkok aren’t too expensive,” is all Bambam says, before wishing him a goodnight and hanging up.  
  
  
  


Time continues to move forward, and before either of them know it, Erik only has five more days left in Seoul. Yugyeom can see that Erik is excited to go back home, but he still cries each night, lamenting about how much he’s going to miss his friends here, and Jaebum, and _especially you, Yugyeom._

“I’m going to miss you, so much,” Yugyeom says on the last night, planting the words along the curve of Erik’s neck. He arches into the touch, eyes slipping close and hands gripping the sheets as he begs for _more, more, please don’t stop._

Yugyeom takes his time; cherishing each breathless gasp and heated moan, mapping out the lines and curves of his body with his fingertips, memorizing how it feels when he sinks into Erik’s body, warm and pliant under his own.

He doesn’t ever want to forget this moment.  
  
  
  


There’s only a few hours left, now, before Jaebum comes to take Erik to the airport.

“Will you call me when you land?” Yugyeom asks, his fingers stroking the smooth skin of Erik’s chest, where his head is currently resting.

“Of course.”

“And will you call me before you go to bed? Even if I’m still asleep?”

He can feel Erik chuckling. “Only if you call me before you go to bed, even if I’m in class.”

“I promise.”

Erik leans forward and kisses the top of his head, smiling.

“Me too.”  
  
  
  


He doesn’t cry when Erik kisses him later – not goodbye – nor does he cry when he waves from the front seat of Jaebum’s car, which quickly disappears from his sight.

He waits until he gets to Bambam’s, who still has another few weeks left in Seoul, thank god, before falling into the other’s arms. He lets it all go, tears wracking his body as he confesses every worry haunting his mind; _what if he forgets about me? what if he finds someone better? what if –_

Bambam shushes him, stroking his back. “Don’t think like that,” he says, gently scolding him, “Whatever happens in the future, at least you’ll be able to look back and say you gave it your all.”

Yugyeom nods, sniffling into Bambam’s neck, who makes a disgusted sound in response and slaps Yugyeom upside the head, bringing a laugh out of both of them.  
  
  
  


“What are you making me say, seriously?” Yugyeom asks again, but Erik dodges his request and asks how he’s enjoying Bangkok, instead. “Oh, it’s beautiful here! And Bambam’s family is so nice!”

“I’m glad,” Erik says with a grin, and then adds, “But I get you next summer, okay? I’ll fight Bambam if I have to!”

Yugyeom bursts into laughter, shaking his head at the mental image Erik just supplied him with. “Don’t worry, Bambam knows he has to share,” he coos at Erik, whose nose wrinkles in response to Yugyeom’s grossness.

“Ugh, and on that note,” he pauses to yawn, using one hand to rub at his eyes. “I gotta sleep. My cousin Jinyoung is coming over tomorrow with his boyfriend, Jackson, and I need at least eight hours of sleep to deal with them.”

“Good luck!”

“Thanks,” he smiles, his expression softening into fondness. “Hey, I love you.”

_What if you stop loving me?_

“I love you, too.”

_What if I stop loving you?_

Erik gives him a little wave and ends the call. His face is frozen on the screen for a moment, before it disappears and goes back to home, where a picture of the two of them is set as his background.

_What if…what if we last forever?_

Yugyeom smiles at the picture, pleased.


End file.
